


Turn The Lights Out

by queerahkiin



Series: supercorp feels fest [4]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Additional Tags to Be Added, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Smut, SuperCorp, adorable awkwardness, i have many feelings about Lena you don't even know the half of it, nerds being awkward around each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 13:39:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9900119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerahkiin/pseuds/queerahkiin
Summary: Lena Luthor has four people she counted on in her life. One in prison for life and then some, one being her mother, one being National City's hero, and one being a not-so-reporter from CatCo. Little did she know the last two were the same person.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> alternate summary: *to the tune of Scotty Doesn't Know* Lena doesn't know (Lena doesn't know~)
> 
> anyway, hello! welcome to my first real multi chapter fic. i love Lena a lot and will protect her regardless of where the canon takes her. she's got a lot of issues and she's strong and just ugh yeah
> 
> updates should be once i write the next chapter, so once chapter 3 is done chapter 2 will go up. if that makes sense. 
> 
> title credit to Turn The Lights Out by Delain
> 
> forgive any errors, i edited it myself as usual

With the chaos surrounding the Luthor name, one would think the family would want nothing to do with National City. Lena Luthor had other things in mind, though. When she decided to take the big leap and head LuthorCorp she knew there would be countless rough patches. Rebranding the company to LCorp, striving to prove to everyone in National City that she was a Luthor people could trust, and even just hiring a competent staff was all difficult. She worked hard prior to publically announcing her plans, refusing to move on until she was completely comfortable with them. She didn’t leave her apartment for a week and a half, just sat on the hardwood floor in her silk pajama bottoms and a baggy t-shirt, just trying to iron out paperwork. 

She was four days into her self induced lockdown when she wanted to give up. She pulled her hair, screamed into the emptiness of the apartment, and nearly shattered an extremely expensive vase her mother bought her as a “You’re Finally Adequate Enough” present after she graduated from business school. 

She cursed herself, cursed the family she was brought up in. She cursed everything from start to finish, hoping that would give her some peace of mind. Why was it so hard to convince the masses that she could help do good? If only they knew the story of her parentage. If only she could tell someone the truth, that her and Lex weren’t directly blood related. Maybe then she would be taken seriously.

Groaning, she ties her hair up in a messy bun before she yanks at it further in her frustration. In an attempt to calm herself down, Lena takes in a deep breath. She slowly exhales, dropping her shoulders and closing her eyes. She takes another deep breath, holding it and everything else inside to settle for a moment. Opening her eyes, she lets the breath out through her nostrils and stares at the wall across from her. 

“I vastly underestimated how this would go,” she says under her breath, “maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”

She had no one to go to, no one to confide in, nowhere to hide from all of this. She had nothing. So she did what any Luthor would do, she poured herself a healthy glass of her single malt scotch. She held back any comment about how self destructive this could be and set off toward her balcony. Before she even crossed the threshold to her balcony, she knocks back the entire glass, cringing at how strong the liquor was. She holds the glass in her hand, rolling it over her fingers and sighs. 

“I thought I knew what loneliness was before,” she scoffs at herself, “this is just pathetic.”

She pulls her hair out of the bun, shaking the clump of it t as it cascades down her back. She settles into the lull of the city around her, making an effort to relax herself. 

A flapping sound startles the Luthor as Supergirl herself descends from the sky, hovering a few feet away from the balcony. Lena drops the glass, sending shards of it in every direction. She jumps back, hoping to dodge any of the projectiles, and stares back at the hero. 

“I couldn’t help but hear you, ma’am,” Supergirl’s voice is strong and steady, something Lena desperately needed right now, “I thought I’d give you some company, if you don’t mind?”

Lena laughs outwardly, running a hand through her dark hair, “Are you kidding me? A Super is willingly trying to help a Luthor? This has to be a joke.”

Supergirl frowns, landing on the smooth cement ground of Lena’s balcony, “Miss Luthor, I don’t mind who your family is. If someone is in need of anything, I will try my best to help them.”

The hero crosses her arms over her chest, watching as Lena laughs again and then shakes her head. She wants to cry, she wants to screech into the void about how ironic this is. The only person on the planet that would be willing to help her is someone her family hates. 

“Forgive me, Supergirl,” Lena clears her throat, hoping to fight back her emotions, “everything is so goddamn difficult and I don’t know how to handle all of this.”

Supergirl raises her hand, dismissing the woman’s apology, “Don’t worry about it, what’s going on?”

Lena throws her hands in the air in exasperation, making the Super chuckle, “What  _ isn’t _ going on? I have to handle taking the family business over and try to dig myself out of the rubble Lex caused. No one trusts me and everyone’s afraid of me, or they just downright hate me. How am I going to keep myself afloat here?”

“It took me a while to be recognised, Miss Luthor,” Supergirl starts, letting her arms drop to her sides as she started warming up to the woman, “Cat Grant gave me the name Supergirl, but I felt like no one took me seriously. When I first saved that plane and everyone wanted answers, I could only do my best. Once they had them, they criticised me. I’m just one person, how am I supposed to do literally everything at once?”

Lena finds herself leaning forward as the hero rants, feeling some sort of connection between the two. Supergirl blushes, realising the tangent she went on and offers an embarrassed smile in response. 

“What I’m trying to say, Miss Luthor-”

“You can call me Lena, Supergirl,” Lena interrupts, “no need to remind me of the weight I bear.” 

Supergirl flinches, but nods, “What I’m trying to say, Lena, is that you can’t predict what people feel because then that’s all you’ll ever think about. You’ll underestimate actions, underestimate yourself. You need to address each situation as if you weren’t a Luthor. Just be Lena, they’ll like you. I already do.”

“How can I be sure that National City will recognise me as ‘just Lena’?”

Supergirl offers a lopsided smile and shrugs, “You really don’t.”

“It really can’t be easy, can it?” Lena asks, hand to her forehead, “I thought I went through enough in my life.”

Supergirl approaches her, placing a hand on her shoulder, “You’re strong, Lena. I have a feeling that you’ll have no problem standing your ground and fighting to clear your name.”

“Well at least one of us has that feeling,” Lena mumbles, “but thank you, Supergirl. That means a lot knowing I have the resident superhero in my corner when no one else is.”

The hero gives the woman a full smile, “I see potential in you and I’m eager to watch it bloom.”

They stand in silence for a moment until Supergirl’s head snaps toward the horizon. 

“I’m sorry, Lena, I have to go. But remember what I said, and if you ever need me, I’ll be here for you.”

In a flash, Supergirl bursts into the sky and off toward whomever needed her now. Lena smiles faintly, wrapping her arms around her torso in comfort. 

She takes what the hero says to heart, repeating what has now become a mantra to herself as she pads back into her apartment and continues to finalise everything before the big day.

* * *

 

The next several days were crucial, she hadn’t slept more than seven hours combined but even that didn’t stop her. She was firing on all cylinders, absolutely determined. She legally changed the company’s name to LCorp, trademarked and approved the new logo, and even picked out her outfit for the first day. 

She was content with her work, for once. She was even somewhat content with herself. Lillian had left far too many voicemails on her phone and Lena didn’t have the time to check any of them. She didn’t want her mother’s point of view in her work, she didn’t want to hear about what changes she made were wrong and so on. She was an adult, her own being. Something her mother seemingly never got a handle on.

After forcing herself to eat more than half a container of noodles from the takeout place around the corner, Lena Luthor felt ready. No amount of readiness in the world could fight off her lurking anxiety, though.  

“Just be Lena,” she tells herself under her breath, “not a Luthor, just be Lena.”

She pulls the covers of her bed back before situating herself underneath them. She repeats Supergirl’s words to herself as she gets comfortable, hoping it’ll turn more into a prayer. 

As she feels the pull of sleep, she barely hears the gentle landing of her new friend. She makes a mental note to tell the girl her cape is a dead giveaway before finally falling asleep.

Picking up Lena’s words, Supergirl only smiles to herself. She hones in on Lena’s steady breathing, lifting her head in assurance that the woman is indeed sleeping before continuing on with her nightly patrol. 

“You’re going to do great things for this city, Lena,” Supergirl says, “I believe in you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me:  
> writing tumblr: brittwritesshit.tumblr.com  
> main tumblr: queerahkiin.tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's girls night for Supergirl and Lena

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have never written this much in so little time i'm on such a roll y'all i'm so happy
> 
> as usual, edited by me so excuse and errors~

It was a couple months after Supergirl gave Lena the pep talk of a lifetime and the two bonded. Every other night, the hero would come in to hear all about Lena’s day. She always was interested in the reporter-but-not from CatCo, but it’s not like Lena minded. She told the hero about each meeting in great detail, she told her about what she had for lunch, and of course gossip about her employees. 

In turn, Supergirl would sit cross-legged on the couch, her boots off of course, and she’d offer little bits of happenings around the city. Various fires and a bank robbery barely caused Lena concern and Supergirl was just too happy to bother Lena with every boring detail. 

“Kara came by again,” Lena calls from the kitchen, gathering her popcorn from the microwave, “that’s the third time this month she’s come to interview me.”

Supergirl hums in response, taking the bowl for the woman, “CatCo is really helping your image, though.”

“It’s all Kara, don’t even,” Lena laughs, following the hero back to the living area, “I like when she comes over, though. I feel like I’m gaining yet another friend in this city, which is surprising.”

“Oh please, anyone would be your friend,” the hero tosses a piece of popcorn at Lena, “you just never have time. Kara is literally weaseling her way into your schedule.”

Lena crinkles her nose, “She’s more of a puppy, not a weasel. An adorable puppy, maybe. That girl is like the human embodiment of caffeine, I swear.” 

Supergirl shrugs, “She’s just really happy and into life, can you blame her?”

“Well she’s a Danvers, and no one knows who those are so she’s got the better bargain here.” She reaches for her wine glass on the coffee table and Supergirl bats her hand away.

“No more, you have work tomorrow.” 

Lena pouts, “Should I call you Supernanny now instead?”

Supergirl sticks her tongue out at her friend and leans back on the couch, still keeping an ear open for anything off in the distance. 

Lena catches the look, the recently known look of Supergirl offguard, and smirks. 

“Your cousin took your shift, didn’t he,” she asks, “why are you still trying to work?”

“The city needs me, citizen,” Supergirl says in the most stereotypical superhero tone, “my job is never done.”

“Amen to that,” Lena raises her hand in the air, seeing as Supergirl won’t let her drink anymore tonight, “I don’t think I’d be able to handle it, being in your shoes. Just your abilities and decision making, the sheer strength alone going into everything on a daily basis. I’d never come out alive.”

Supergirl chuckles, “You’re stronger than you think you are, Lena.”

“Easy for you to say, alien,” Lena teases, “I can’t get my own coffee without someone immediately going up my ass about what LCorp is working on. I don’t know what you do when you’re not saving the planet, but it seems peaceful.”

Luckily Lena doesn’t notice Supergirl’s falter, the quick crumble and rebuilding of herself. Obviously Lena doesn’t know her secret, nor does she even know when she’ll know. It’s been difficult, to say the least. The friendship hadn’t been easy, but thankfully with her persistence to Snapper, Kara Danvers also became Lena’s friend. 

Hearing stories about Kara started off a little weird but she managed to trick herself into seeing it as how Lena views Kara. The two hit it off, which wasn’t a surprise. Kara spent her lunches at LCorp, which Lena insisted was okay. She tells Kara the same thing she tells Supergirl, which she has to pretend is new information the second time around. It’s exhausting work, but she’s happy that Lena is happy. 

“Supergirl,” Lena calls, drawing her from her headspace, “how did you cross paths with our shared friend?”

Steeling herself, Supergirl offers a laugh, “I saved her, actually.”

Lena scoots closer to the hero on the couch, “Well? Out with it then.”

“There was an attack on CatCo, not that long ago,” Supergirl begins, “Livewire wanted Cat Grant dead. Kara was determined to help protect her boss, she was securing her safety when Livewire got to them both. Cat managed to get out, but Kara was stuck. I scooped her up and saved her. Nothing that glorious.”

“But how did you two stay in contact?” Lena takes a handful of popcorn and pops a piece into her mouth.

Supergirl rolls her eyes, “As you know, I try to check in on the people I saved, just to make sure they’re okay. Kara was a bit overbearing, but thankful. She’s a good kid.”

Lena clicks her tongue, “You can’t call her a kid, you barely look older than her.”

“I assure you, in Kryptonian years I am much older.” Lena squints at the hero in question, slowly raising her fistful of popcorn up to her mouth. The two erupt into laughter at Lena’s act, Supergirl shoving the Luthor’s knee.

“I definitely don’t have this much fun with Kara, though,” Supergirl admits, “I also don’t hang out with her like we do. Maybe I should get to know her some more.”

Lena nods, “You really should, she’s the sweetest thing. I enjoy spending time with her.”

Supergirl fights the blush that spreads across her cheeks, “I’m sure the feeling is mutual.”

Lena stretches on the couch, yawning as she does. Supergirl takes the hint, standing from her place, and gives Lena a nod.

“Wait,” Lena rushes, jumping up, “that wasn’t your cue to leave, I’m just exhausted.”

“Lena you’ve been working so hard, you should sleep,” Supergirl says as Lena covers her mouth as she yawns yet again, “get to bed.”

The Luthor scrunches her face in a comical pout, “That’s not fair, you can’t just enforce a bedtime on me.”

“I help the people of National City do the best they can,” Supergirl wraps an arm around Lena’s shoulders in an attempt to lead her toward her bedroom, “think of it as me protecting you.”

Panic rises in her chest, “I don’t always need your protection,” Lena snaps, pushing the hero’s arm away, “I am completely capable of taking care of myself.”

Supergirl presses her lips into a thin line as Lena continues onward toward her room. She clenches and unclenches her fists several times, yet another method to calm herself down. Supergirl stays at her spot, not wanting to make matters worse by following the woman. 

She can handle herself. How dare the hero try to guide her as if she were a child. Has she not witnessed everything Lena’s accomplished lately? She’s done it singlehandedly. Granted with the attack she had some help, but other than that everything was solved by herself and only herself. She didn’t need anyone to look after her.

Lena pushes the door open, flipping the lightswitch, and looks over her shoulder. 

“Goodnight, Supergirl.” 

Swallowing hard, the hero accepts how the situation happened and walks to the balcony door. She hears Lena fumble with her clothes and the sudden rush of the shower turning on, pausing before she leaves. 

With one hand on the slider door, she turns around, “Lena?”

Lena wraps a towel around her body, exiting her bathroom, and pokes her head out of the doorway. 

“I’m proud of you,” Supergirl’s tone the same as it was the first time they met, “you’ve really have bloomed, like I knew you would. I’m happy I got to experience it first hand.”

Lena’s jaw drops slightly, not expecting that admittance after the outburst. Supergirl gives a sincere smile, muttering something Lena can’t catch before opening the door and taking flight. 

She feels her feet are locked to the floor, unable to move. Supergirl, the city’s hero, is proud of her. The embodiment of truth and justice, just as her cousin, is proud of her. 

A sudden pit forms in her stomach. A feeling she’s known all too well.

Guilt.

She wants to call out, hoping that Supergirl isn’t too far away to hear her, but she doesn’t. The words don’t form and her tongue feels thick. She swallows the self hatred bubbling up her throat, reminding herself that Supergirl only speaks her mind when she’s with her.

“She is proud of you,” Lena says to herself, “after you lashed out on her, she’s still proud of you.”

The pit breaks down, but only a little bit. She allows herself to bask in someone’s approval for a moment before finally continuing on with her nightly ritual.

“Supergirl is proud of you,” she repeats, “she’s proud of you for being Lena.”

Finally, in her 24 years, someone said it and they meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me:  
> writing tumblr: brittwritesshit.tumblr.com  
> main tumblr: queerahkiin.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara "Gay Panic" Danvers, at your service

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy International Women's Day to all my ladies!! be you cis, trans, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer, or intersex, this is your day <3

Kara wasn’t expecting to get a text as soon as she woke up in the morning. She cracked an eye open, unlocking the device and squints at the brightness of the screen. Surprisingly, it was Lena. 

“ _ I hope this doesn’t wake you, just wanted to know if you wanted to head over earlier than usual today. Say 8am? Let me know xx”  _

She wipes the sleep from her eyes and sits up in her bed, grabbing the phone with both hands.

“ _ I’m sure Snapper wouldn’t mind :D consider me there.” _

She stretches upwards, her arms cracking in various places as she pushes them as high as they can go. Yawning, she drops her arms back to her sides and blinks slowly, half awake. Her phone buzzes again and she chuckles raspily. 

“ _ No rush! Get here when you can, you’re a grouch if you’re rushed.” _

“Oh that’s not even true,” Kara scowls, “how would she even know, she’s never seen me rushed.”

Groaning, she jumps up from the bed and sets toward the closet. She settles on an outfit quickly, setting it aside before she heads to the bathroom. She splashes cold water on her face in an attempt to help wake her up.

After brushing her teeth and a quick rinse in the shower, Kara is ready to go for the morning. She ties her hair back with an elastic on her wrist and checks herself out in the mirror. She pulls her glasses from the case on top of her dresser and gently scoots them up the bridge of her nose. 

Hanging around Lena as Kara Danvers was interesting, but she liked it. She was able to be authentic, to an extent, around the woman. She was socially awkward, fiddling with her glasses at times when Lena went on various stories of Supergirl. Jokes would fly over her head, mainly due to the cultural difference between humans and aliens. Kara never minded it one bit. 

Smiling to herself, she locks up her apartment door behind herself and jogs off down the hallway and off to the street. 

“Hey Jess,” Kara waves to the secretary, “Lena wanted me over for breakfast.”

Jess laughs, “Kara, if Lena wants you over, she normally tells me too. Go on in.”

Kara ducks her head as she passes Jess, realising how much of a routine she’s been in since the two became friends.

Opening the door, Lena’s head pops up from behind her computer monitor.

“Kara!” she grins, rising from the chair, “I’m so happy you came over this morning, I’ve got loads to tell you.”

She rounds the desk and throws her arms around the girl’s shoulders, pulling her in for a hug. Kara happily reciprocates, giving a small swirl on Lena’s shoulder blades with her hand.

Lena pulls away from her friend, chuckling, “You and that comfort swirl thing.”

“Don’t act like you don’t like it,” Kara teases, “everyone likes the comfort swirl.”

“Anyway,” Lena says, “Supergirl and I hung out again last night.”

Kara sinks into the chair opposite Lena’s desk, “Details, lady, details.”

“It was like usual, but she got really deep on me,” Kara stifles her laughter with a hand, turning her head away from Lena’s glaring, “Okay but really, I lashed out at her and she responded by saying she’s proud of me.”

Lena balances on the corner of her desk, arms crossed over her chest as she recalls the night. Kara on the other hand, allows just a turn of the corner of her lips in a smile at Lena’s reaction. 

“She genuinely likes me, and that’s just weird,” Lena says, “a Super likes me, god forbid what Superman would do if he knew that.”

Kara clicks her tongue at the mention of her cousin, “Don’t mind him, though. He’s not your friend, Supergirl is. They’re two separate people.”

Lena shrugs, “True, but if he’s here too, he has to know. There’s no way she could keep that a secret.”

“I’m sure she keeps plenty of secrets,” Kara says, “but anyway, back to her being proud of you. Why?”

“She said I’m bloomed and she’s happy she got to experience it.”

Kara taps her chin with a finger, feigning thought. Lena gives her a face, confusion mixed with amusement and they share a laugh together.

“She’s a good egg, that one,” Kara states, “always there for a pick me up. I love her.”

Lena’s eyes narrow to slits at her friend, “Oh really?”

Kara pauses, catching what she just said. She waves her hands in front of her, shaking her head to her friend. 

“No, not like that, I swear,” she rushes, “she’s just cool, is all. Good friend.”

Lena smirks, “Good, I’d have to fight you for her otherwise. I would obviously win, too.”

Kara blushes at her friend’s remark, “What do you mean fight me for her?”

“Oh, nothing, don’t worry about it,” Lena dismisses, pulling a brown paper bag from behind her desk, “Breakfast?”

On cue, Kara’s stomach growls at the mention of food. Lena chortles, tossing the bag at her friend. 

“Wait, what about you?” Kara asks, hesitant to completely demolish whatever is inside the bag.

“I had one of the muffins already,” Lena says, “go crazy.”

With the go ahead, Kara pulls the three muffins out of the bag. She pulls a piece of one of the tops and plops it in her mouth, moaning at the taste.

“How did you know strawberry banana were my favourite?” 

Lena hums, “You’re a sweet person, sweet people normally like sweet foods.”

Kara takes a generous bite of the muffin, wiggling back and forth as she chews. Lena laughs at her friend’s happiness.

“Anyway, back to Supergirl,” Lena pulls her chair out, sinking into it, “she and I talked about you a bit, I decided we needed to hang out more.”

Kara looks up from the remnants of the first muffin, “Oh?”

“Christ, Kara,” Lena remarks, “you look like a lion after a kill. Crumbs everywhere.”

Flashing a mischievous grin, Kara bites the second muffin in half much to Lena’s dismay. The woman groans, but forces herself back on track.

“Would you mind if we had a movie night or something?” 

Kara sets the food down on Lena’s desk, trying to make as little mess as possible, and clears her throat.

“Uh,” she mutters, “yeah, sure. Like stay in or go out?”

“Staying in, preferably,” Lena responds, leaning forward on the desk, “I promise I’m a relatively decent house guest.”

“I don’t see why not then,” Kara says, “Tomorrow night?”

Lena goes to nod but stops, “Supergirl and I spend every other night together.” 

She turns her monitor on, absentmindedly clicking about through her emails as she starts her workday. Kara wraps her breakfast back up in the brown bag, setting it next to her on the floor, and settles back down in the chair.

“You can cancel, she probably has other things to do anyway,” Kara notes, nonchalantly, “she’d also probably be jealous if you swapped. You’d get to know how she really felt.”

Lena’s head snaps up from her screen. Kara jumps at her friend’s sudden movement, not expecting her to react in such a way.

“Do you think so?” 

Kara fidgets with her glasses, forcing herself to break eye contact, “I-I mean, probably? Besides, she'd understand you wanted more girl time with me, anyway.”

Lena smirks, “Deal. I’ll leave a note on the balcony before I leave tomorrow night.”

Standing from her spot, Kara briefly mumbles in response and grabs her belongings. 

“I have to go, but I’ll talk to you later?” 

Lena waves to her friend and settles back into her work flow as Kara makes her exit. 

As she walks out of LCorp, she pulls her phone out of her bag. She pulls up the recent conversation with Alex and starts furiously texting.

“ _ ALEX SOS LENA WANTS TO HANGOUT TOMORROW NIGHT WHAT DO I DO?????” _

She fiddles with the collar of her shirt as she walks down the block, waiting for her sister to respond. Her phone buzzes a second later.

“ _ As Supergirl or as Kara? Why are you freaking, isn’t she your friend?” _

Kara rolls her eyes and clenches her jaw, making sure she doesn’t destroy her phone in the process. 

“ _ As Kara, but she was hinting about how she has feelings for Supergirl. I should abort, this isn’t what I was expecting. _ ”

It wasn’t at all. The first night she caught Lena in a mental war, she thought she’d be able to help. Thought it’d be a one and done thing. But then she saved the woman’s helicopter and everything else that happened the next week and she decided Lena needed extra attention. She was honest to Rao just trying to help. 

She walks right into CatCo’s lobby as her phone goes off again.

“ _ Quit with the gay panic, Kara _ .”

“ _ You don’t need to tell her anything, especially because of who she is. Watch a movie, talk about whatever you two talk about, and RELAX.” _

Kara pouts, stuffing her phone back in her bag as she enters the elevator. 

“So much for the guiding big sister role,” she says to herself, “and I don’t have any idea what gay panic is so how am I supposed to have it?”

She jams the button to her floor, watching as the doors shut and the numbers rose. 

“Kara Danvers where have you been?” Winn asks as the doors open, wagging his finger at her, “you had me worried sick.”

Kara palms his face, pushing him away, “I did something dumb and I’m figuring it out.”

She moves past him, flopping into her chair, holding her head in her hands. Winn follows, undeterred by her attempting to move him. 

“Is it something with Lena?”

She lifts her head up, “Of course it’s something with Lena.”

“So I was right the first time, you are a lesbian.” 

Winn looks around the office, smug as ever at finally being proven right. Kara groans, dropping her head yet again. 

“She likes Supergirl,” Kara mumbles through her hands, “I don’t know what to do.”

Winn scoffs, “At least you have girls chasing after you.”

“So not the problem right now, dude.”

Making a face, Winn backs away from Kara and heads back to his desk to let her figure this out. 

The day drags on, Kara barely there in every aspect. James tries to run things by her, but Winn jumps to her rescue and helps instead. She wants to bang her head against a wall to maybe organise the thoughts bouncing about in her brain. She doesn’t, for obvious reasons. 

Around lunch she gets a text from her sister.

“ _ Have you figured out what you’re doing yet? _ ”

She sends several emojis, disgruntled in appearance, as a response. 

“ _ Kara, you’re friends. Stop acting like it’s weird. _ ”

“ _ If you keep this up I’m changing your middle name to Gay Panic. _ ”

Kara locks her phone, stuffing it back into her bag. Is this what gay panic is? Why was she experiencing it then? Is Lena even gay? Is she on any spectrum? 

“Shit,” Kara curses under her breath, “I’m so screwed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me:  
> writing tumblr: brittwritesshit.tumblr.com  
> main tumblr: queerahkiin.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena have a movie night because they're giant nerds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because there's a giant blizzard hitting the upper east coast, here's a chapter to get everyone through it <3  
> also if my power goes out tomorrow i won't be able to upload it lmao so yeah
> 
> Lena is a precious baby that deserves all goodness and love forever

After a full day of Alex talking her out of her panic, Kara assured herself tonight wouldn’t be weird. She never spent more than half an hour with the woman as Kara, but she definitely felt like she has as Supergirl. Which is confusing, yes, but somehow it all felt sane to her. Lena agreed that she would come over around nine that night, insisting that Kara should eat before she came over due to meetings needing her attention before clocking out. 

Of course, Kara didn’t mind. She had more time to finish up, mentally preparing herself for everything. 

Alex sent her a quick, emoji filled text, more or less teasing her about everything but Kara didn’t have time to decypher it. 

She tried to get comfortable on her couch, switching her positions every few seconds to feign calm as she waited for her friend. 

The soft knock at the door made her nearly leap out of her skin, scrambling from the couch to the door in a flash. Kara stops just short of the door, taking a deep breath to regain herself. She runs her hand over the top of her head, backward toward the neat bun she perfected after seven other tries, and nods.

“You’ve got this,” Kara pumps herself up, “you’re just hanging out with a friend. It’s okay.”

She opens the door, grinning from ear to ear at Lena Luthor, “Lena!”

Lena returns the smile sheepishly as Kara moves aside to allow her friend inside. 

“Sorry I took so long,” Lena says, feeling small in an unknown area, “some things needed wrapping up and I extremely underestimated how long it’d take.”

“No worries,” Kara chirps, signalling to the Luthor to follow her, “what do you wanna watch?”

Lena hums in response, thinking as she looks around Kara’s apartment. She wants to joke about how the room is so unapologetically Kara, the sunflowers on the table, the large windows, bright colours everywhere. But she keeps the thought to herself for the time being.

“Anything Disney is fine, I’m up for something cheerful.”

Kara nods, pulling up Netflix on the tv and selecting a random movie from the Disney section. 

Lena laughs, watching the loading screen and title, “Hercules?”

“One of the bests!”

Kara pulls her flats off, curling up on her cushion, and pats the spot next to her. Lena slips her own shoes off and tucks them under the couch, sitting down next to her friend.

“Now if I start singing, don’t mock me,” Kara warns, “I am very passionate about Disney movies.”

Lena feigns shock, “Really? You’re passionate about family friendly, wholesome movies? I never would’ve guessed.”

Kara sticks her tongue out at her friend as the upbeat song begins, holding herself together to not bounce up and down.

Lena chuckles to herself, “Hunkules.”

Kara looks over at her friend, watching her as she leans on the back of the couch with her arm, propping her head up. She nudges Lena, bobbing her head up and down along with the song.

“It was a nasty place,” Kara sings along, bumping her shoulder into Lena’s.

“And then along came Zeus,” Lena joins, laughing at herself, “He hurled his thunderbolt.”

Kara grabs Lena’s forearm, making her bounce up and down on the couch with her as they continued to sing along to the opening song. 

The movie filtered on as the two finally stopped their laughing fits at one another, Kara’s hand still on Lena’s arm, both of them sitting closer than they were previously. 

“I always loved Greek and Roman mythology,” Lena says, “thought it was more interesting than anything else in school.”

Kara turns the volume down on the tv, allowing it to continue on as background noise, “Which were your favourite god or goddess?”

Lena tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to pick just one, “I loved the twins, Apollo and Artemis.” 

“What are they god and goddess of?” Kara never had time to study on ancient human culture, mainly just figuring out how to pass as normal herself. She heard little bits here and there about various gods, but she never knew just how vast the various mythological sets were.

“Apollo is the god of the music, the sun, knowledge, archery,” Lena lists them, counting them out on her fingers, “also of the plague, but no one really talks about that one.”

Kara laughs, pointing at the screen as Apollo’s character appears on the screen, “Now what about Artemis?”

“She’s goddess of the hunt, the moon, forests and hills,” counting them out as well on her fingers, “and archery, like her brother. But they’re only twins in the Greek mythology. Also Apollo is both Roman and Greek.”

Kara watches as Lena goes on, happy that Lena is passionate about something other than her own work. The woman throws the two of them into an indepth explanation of how Apollo and Artemis are related, who their parents are, and so on. Kara smiles, nodding through the entire thing as her friend continues on and on. 

Lena stops herself for a second, “What are you smiling about?”

“Oh-” Kara sputters, obviously caught, “you’re so into this and it’s cute. That’s all.”

Lena smirks, licking her lips before leaning in toward Kara, “Oh really?” 

Kara’s heart flutters at the eyebrow thing Lena does when she’s trying to be flirty and yells at herself mentally to pull it together.

“Well yeah, y’know, it’s cool to be into history and stuff.”

Lena squints at the girl, but just gives a knowing look in a response. 

Kara reflexively points to the screen, hoping to redirect Lena’s attention to the movie, and sighs as she realises the credits have started rolling.

“Dang it,” she whispers under her breath.

Thankfully, the movie killed enough time for them that Kara could retreat and sleep before she embarrasses herself further. 

She yawns, stretching her limbs upward in an overzealous attempt to show Lena she’s tired. 

Lena clears her throat, standing from the couch, “Do you mind if I sleep here? It’s late and I don’t exactly feel comfortable going all the way back to my place.”

“Not at all,” Kara says, “you can have my bed, I’ll take the couch.”

She jumps from her spot, grabbing the spare blanket and pillow from the chest behind the couch. She fluffs the pillow, placing it down on the couch along with the blanket.

“Oh, I can’t let you do that,” Lena sits back down on the couch, “I’ll sleep here. You have your bed.”

Kara frowns, “I insist.”

“Well if we can’t come to an agreement,” Lena stands back up from the couch, pillow and blanket in hand, “I guess we’ll be sharing your bed.”

Kara turns bright pink at the declaration, “I-I mean, if that’s what you want?”

Lena laughs at her friend’s blush, nodding as she walks over toward the bed. She plops the pillow and blanket down, sizing Kara up and how much room she’ll take up in the bed.

“We’ll fit,” she says, “it’ll be a tight squeeze, but we’ll fit.”

Much to Kara’s dismay, she agrees to the terms. 

She allows Lena her time in the bathroom first, resisting the urge to text Alex about everything. 

Kara groans, pulling her glasses off, and rubs her eyes to process everything. 

Lena stands in the doorway of the bathroom, her hair spilling over her left shoulder, “Are you crying over me not allowing you to sleep on the couch?”

Kara’s head shoots up, fumbling with her glasses as she secures them on her face. 

“No,” she flubs, “I'm fighting sleep is all. Are you done?”

Lena points at her pajama set, a Supergirl shirt and matching red bottoms. 

Kara swallows hard, do they really make pajamas inspired by her now? 

“Gosh,” Kara’s voice cracks in embarrassment, “you really do like Supergirl don't you?”

Lena laughs and fully exits the bathroom, allowing Kara her time to get ready for bed.

She does so, avoiding eye contact as she passes the woman and secures the door behind her.

She presses her back into the door, exhaling the breath she didn't notice she was holding. She looks at herself in the mirror and shakes her head.

“Pull it together, Danvers,” she tells herself, “you've been telling yourself to pull it together more than enough times recently. Be normal.”

She splashes water on her face and changes into her oversized t-shirt and shorts.

Opening the door, her eyes fall on the Luthor curled up under her sheets. She bites her lip to stop her smile, sliding into her designated spot next to her friend. 

“Comfy?” 

“Very, I could get used to this bed,” Lena groans, fully lying on her back, “just being here is helping combat all the stress from the week.”

Kara settles in, being sure to stick her foot out from underneath the blanket but not too far that it's hanging over and vulnerable. She turns onto her side, away from Lena to give her space, and tucks her hand under her pillow. 

Luckily for her, she falls asleep quick. 

Not so lucky for Lena, she hears the distant rumble of thunder. Her chest tightens, watching a flash lightning brighten the room momentarily. 

She counts quietly, the storm being just a bit away. 

She shifts closer to Kara, her hand brushing against her friend’s clothed back for comfort. She takes in a shallow breath, reminding herself that she isn't alone, and exhales through her nose. 

Another boom rocks through her body and she flinches, colliding into Kara’s slumbering body. 

She pulls away, hoping to not have woken her. The soft snores coming from the girl set Lena at ease momentarily. 

By the third boom, Lena has her arm draped over Kara’s torso and her face pressed into her back. 

Kara wakes partially, mumbling something along the lines of “You okay?” 

“Super,” Lena responds, voice muffled. 

Kara turns her head, looking over her shoulder at the Luthor, “What's going on?”

“Don't like thunder,” Lena keeps her face against Kara, “never did.”

Kara lays flat, patting her chest for Lena. Lena hesitates, unsure about following along with what the barely conscious girl was requesting.

“Come on, it's fine,” she insists with her eyes still closed, “platonic cuddling.”

“Platonic cuddling,” Lena echoes, placing her head on Kara’s chest.

Kara wiggles her arm around Lena’s shoulder, pulling her into her. 

Lena barely hears the fourth boom, focusing on the girl’s heartbeat. 

Starting to hum to soothe her friend, Kara rubs her hand up and down on her bicep as she drifts back to sleep. 

Lena smiles, taking in Kara’s essence while she calms herself down entirely. Feeling her eyelids grow heavier, Lena slips to dreamland effortlessly for the first time in possibly her whole life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURE GUYS PLATONIC CUDDLING SURE YUP PLATONIC UH HUH 
> 
> i cry i love them
> 
> yell at me:  
> writing tumblr: brittwritesshit.tumblr.com  
> main tumblr: queerahkiin.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get a little awkward between our two favourite queers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly here, chapter 5 was not at all intended to go like this lmao. i was stuck for a bit, couldn't figure out what to do. and then all of a sudden this happened.
> 
> minor internalised homophobia warning, if that's not cool with you and you don't want to read i completely understand and i love you.
> 
> also sorry for not updating yesterday guys!! Mass Effect: Andromeda has aggressively taken over my entire life
> 
> bumped to M for serious mental stuff and i realised it wouldn't really fit under gen, sorry for the confusion!

Kara woke first the next morning. Feeling the weight on her chest, she searches around with her left hand for her glasses. She pulls an arm of the glasses out with her mouth, flicks the other out with her thumb, and adjusts them on her face. The sudden panic flooding her system dissipates as she settles into the costume of sorts. 

Lena stirs, lifting her arm up to cross over Kara’s chest, grabbing the girl’s shoulder as she snuggles her head on her chest. The slow, steady rhythm of Lena’s heartbeat tells Kara that she’s still peacefully sleeping. 

She finds herself wanting to hold Lena close again, as she did last night to comfort her friend through the storm. She swallows hard, praying to Rao that she could just fall asleep again and maybe wake up once Lena moves. 

Lena’s breath catches, inhaling sharply as her eyes slowly open. She squeezes Kara’s shoulder impulsively as she shifts off her chest.

“G’morning,” Lena yawns, “sleep okay?”

Kara smiles at the sleepy Luthor, “Yeah. You’re very cuddly, aren’t you?”

“Platonic cuddler, remember?” 

Rolling her eyes, Kara sits up in bed. Lena yawns hard, shaking her head to help wake herself up. She runs her hands through her bedhead, shaking it out to hopefully combat any snarls created overnight.

“Want me to make breakfast?” Lena asks, feet thrown over the side of the bed. She stands up, fixing her Supergirl shirt. 

As Kara turns her head to look at Lena, she snaps her head back away from Lena. She clears her throat, gaining Lena’s attention.

“Uh, where are your pants?”

Lena arches an eyebrow in question before she gazes down at her now bare legs. She lets out a chuckle and lifts the blankets to search for the matching pajama bottoms. 

She pulls them out, a ball of cloth at the foot of the bed, and quickly pulls them apart. She lifts her legs, bending over at her hips to slip them up her lower half. 

Kara, yet again, turns her head to her friend at the wrong time. Her mouth falls agape, staring fully at the pale globes of her friend’s backside.

“I must have gotten hot or something over night,” Lena’s voice pulls Kara out of her current hypnotization, “I can tell this is awkward because you won’t look at me so I’ll just go make some food for us.”

She pulls the bottom of her shirt out of the waistband of her pants, walking toward the kitchen. 

Kara clenches her jaw, watching her friend disappear to the other side of the apartment, and flops backward onto the bed. She grabs a pillow and presses it over her face.

“This really isn’t easy,” Kara groans to herself, pulling the pillow off of her. She forces herself out of bed, tying her hair up in a loose ponytail, and enters the bathroom.

Turning the faucet on, she catches the sound of Lena flicking the stove on and placing a pan over the flame. She smirks, holding her toothbrush up to her mouth, as she allows her glasses to move past her eyes. She looks through the wall at her friend, nodding along to a song in her head as she cracks eggs into the pan.

Kara finishes her morning ritual just as Lena goes to set the table. Kara pulls a grey, oversized hoodie on, pushing her sleeves up as she enters the kitchen area. 

“Plates are the top cabinet on the right,” she says, startling the puzzled Luthor, “and silverware is the drawer next to the sink.”

As she spins around, Kara is stood in front of her with plates in her hands. “How?” 

Kara places the plates in Lena’s possession, ignoring the question, and grabs the silverware. She sets them down on either side of the table for the two of them, looking to Lena in expectation to set the plates down.

“You’re very quick, and stealthy,” Lena remarks, setting the table fully, “are you sure you’re not actually a ninja?”

Kara rolls her eyes, “You haven’t seen me run a mile.”

Clicking her tongue in dismissal, Lena brings the pan of scrambled eggs to the table. She sets it between the plates, grabbing the toast as well and placing two pieces on the plates.

She motions for Kara to sit, grabbing a wooden spoon to evenly dispense a portion of the eggs for both of them. 

They eat in awkward silence. Neither of them look up throughout the meal. Lena finishes first, half shovelling the food down her throat as fast as she could to quickly escape the close interaction. 

Kara pretends she doesn’t notice, grunts in response to Lena placing her dirty plate in the sink and rushing back to the bedroom. 

Should she say anything? Why has this gone from laughing with a friend to the feeling of boundaries being crossed? 

Kara worries her lower lip between her teeth, honing in on Lena muttering under her breath about how she’s horrible. 

“Why couldn’t I just be normal for once,” she tells herself, “you’ve gone and ruined yet another friendship.”

Frowning, Kara stands up from the table and walks toward the bedroom as quietly as possible. Lena doesn’t notice, continuing on her rant at herself.

“She’s not even gay, can’t you tell?” 

Lena holds her head in her hands, fighting back tears as she berates herself. How could she be so stupid to let herself be vulnerable?

“Lena?” Kara calls, her voice gentle, “what’s going on?”

She freezes, afraid to drop her hands at acknowledge Kara. 

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Kara leans on the doorway to her bedroom, eyeing the woman, “It didn’t sound like nothing to worry about. Talk to me.”

“Please, just let this go, Kara.”

She balls her pajamas up, stuffing them back in the bag she brought with her, and looks at Kara. 

“You didn’t ruin anything, Lena,” Kara tells her, “I’m still your friend. Whatever you think happened, didn’t happen. We are okay.”

So used to being told that she was too much, Lena can hardly understand Kara’s reaction. But she’s wrong, right? Countless times has Lena been told she was too much, too  _ gay _ to continue a friendship. That the feelings she developed for her friend weren’t mutual. 

She takes in a shaky breath, blinking rapidly as she processes it. 

“You don’t mean that,” Lena says, “I deserve the fucking truth, Kara. Tell me how you really feel.”

Kara steps toward her friend, reaching for her but Lena jerks away right before her hand touches her. 

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

Lena shakes her head in disbelief, “You’re lying. Everyone hates me when I do anything remotely not normal.”

She grabs her bag, hoisting it on her shoulder. She impulsively runs her fingers through her hair in exasperation, fed up with the situation she’s encountered countless times before.

“I have to get to work,” she says plainly, “thanks for everything.”

She pushes past Kara, holding in everything as she goes.

Kara grabs her by her arm, her hold strong but not strong enough to bruise the woman.

“Lena, you’re not running away from me over this,” she notices Lena clench her jaw, “you didn’t ruin anything. I just got weird. It’s me, honestly.”

Kara pleads, hoping that her friend wouldn’t leave on such a negative note. That maybe she could help her as Kara this time and not just as Supergirl has the past several times. 

“You being a lesbian doesn’t bother me, Lena,” she continues, “Alex is gayer than anything anyway. I love her just the same.”

Lena turns her head, the wall she was desperately building now starting to crack. Has Kara ever not been sincere with her? Was she so damaged from past experiences she barely can accept the human embodiment of honesty’s words?

Tears well up in her eyes, her lip trembling as well. 

“Kara,” her tone breaks Kara’s heart, “do you really mean that?”

She nods, letting her grasp on Lena’s bicep weaken.

“You mean the world to me, Lena,” Kara smiles the toothy smile that makes Lena’s pulse race, “nothing is ruining our friendship.”

Friendship. 

There it is again.

Lena’s self hatred rises again with the word.

Of course she doesn’t see her as anything more than a friend. Of course the advances were all in her head. Kara is so extremely straight, nowhere near her is any potential queerness. Dammit all.

Kara catches the disappointment in Lena’s eyes, “Hey, hey. Stop it.”

Lena pulls away from Kara, continuing on her previous path to the door. “Work.”

Kara wants to scream. 

Someone she cares about is hurting. She can’t hurt the person hurting her friend because that person  _ is _ her friend. 

She watches as Lena goes, gripping the handle to the front door so hard her knuckles turn white. 

She rips the door open, refusing to look back as her defenses are repaired again finally.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling right now, Lena, but whatever it is, it’s not straight.”

Lena has her foot halfway out of the door by the time the words register. She turns her head, barely able to see Kara out of her peripherals. 

“There’s something here,” Kara motions between the two of them, “I can feel it, I know you can feel it too. This is me acknowledging it. I’m not angry or upset about it. I don’t feel good about you leaving without me telling you.”

Unable to respond, Lena does what she can only do.

She leaves.

She steps out of Kara’s apartment, shutting the door behind her. Kara can hear the soft click of her shoes on the tile hallway, quickly growing farther and farther away.

Kara sighs, wondering if that was the right choice. 

Maybe she should’ve waited, called Lena later that night to talk about it once they were both in their secure places. 

“No,” Kara tells herself, “I did the right thing. Now I wait.”

 

* * *

 

 

Lena took a personal day, not giving any notice to Kara as she didn’t think her friend would offer to come over for lunch anyway. 

She instead decided that sitting in her sadness, alone, would be better off than confronting Kara again.

She doesn’t even look at the clock when she hears the taps at her balcony doors. 

Supergirl always knows when she needs her most. 

Lena stands from her couch, wrapping her arms around her waist, and unlocks the doors for the superhero.

“Is everything okay?” Supergirl asks, giving the woman a once over.

“She says it’s okay, but I don’t feel okay,” Lena explains, always able to voice her emotions with the hero, “I slept at Kara’s last night. There was a storm, I don’t like thunder. She held me through it and into the morning. I’ve never felt so safe and warm, but I feel bad because of it.”

Supergirl purses her lips, “This is Kara we’re talking about, though.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Oh come on,” Supergirl says, “Kara is always telling the truth. I don’t think the girl is even capable of lying.”

Lena forces a chuckle at the joke, not able to really react how she would.

“I could go talk to her for you, be the messenger and all that.”

Lena’s hand wraps around Supergirl’s wrist, “Please don’t.”

Her voice is so soft, fragile even. Supergirl knows deep down that she is one of the few people ever to witness Lena Luthor in a state like this.

“I won’t, don’t worry, just giving you options.”

“She told me there was something between us,” Lena admits, “she told me she noticed it, and that she knows I know of it. I just feel wrong about it all. That never happens.”

Supergirl nods solemnly, rubbing the woman’s shoulder in comfort, “Not everyone is out to hurt you, Lena.”

“But everyone so far is,” she snaps, “I can’t ever be myself with anyone, other than you and Kara. My defense mechanisms refuse to let me be me, I can’t just be Lena right now.”

Lena knows deep down that this is all in her head. That various past experiences have molded her into this, have created these thought pathways, have only allowed her to be angry and afraid. How can she retrain herself to accept a positive outcome, though? 

Kara is the first to have a mutual connection with her. Sure Supergirl is gorgeous and is always there, but she’s an alien. Aliens are different than humans. 

The fact that Kara can and is willing to be friends after all of this is so foreign. A concept she couldn’t wrap her head around.

“Kara Danvers likes you, Lena,” Supergirl says, “pretend this is me being her wingman or whatever the term is, she is into you. Go get her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me:  
> writing tumblr: brittwritesshit.tumblr.com  
> main tumblr: queerahkiin.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S REVEAL TIME Y'ALL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i first started writing TTLO, this was the first chapter i wrote. i wasn't planning on making anything out of it, and wasn't planning on posting it. just keeping it in the depths of my google drive. but the idea wouldn't leave me alone, this type of character Lena was in my mind kept developing but going back to her old habits. so Turn The Lights Out came to be. 
> 
> anyway, after that little thing, i hope you all enjoy. one more or so after this

The charade of playing two different people for Lena was getting to her. It’d been half a year. Kara had managed to slip up several times, but cover by saying her alter ego had told her previously. This was just excessive now. 

Kara’s feelings for Lena were bleeding through either personality and she could tell it was conflicting her friend.

After the other night, Lena’s self inflicting battle and how Kara had to get Supergirl to talk some sense into her, she felt wrong continuing the ruse.

She forced the woman to believe that she was true, that there was no way Kara Danvers could lie to her. But she did, and it was eating her alive.

She grabs her phone, unlocking the device, and opens up the recent conversation between her and the Luthor.

“ _ Mind if I come over tonight? _ ”

Not even a second goes by before Lena responds.

“ _ Not even a bit! Supergirl normally comes over tonight anyway, I’ll have both of my girls here tonight ;)” _

Kara flinches. “Dang it,” this was going to be difficult, “don’t be like this, let this be easy.”

She doesn’t respond to the Luthor, just packs an overnight bag, puts her suit on under her clothes, and climbs onto the fire exit outside her window. She darts into the night sky, not worrying about any onlookers catching her due to how late it was.

She swerves past buildings, mentally preparing herself for whatever will happen tonight. She wants to maintain her relationship with Lena and hopes this won’t damage the two of them. 

“Rao please don’t have let me ruin this by not telling the truth,” she sighs as she lands in the alleyway adjacent to Lena’s building. She smoothes her hair out and fixes her outfit, making herself presentable before approaching the complex.

The doorman gives her a grin, opening the door for her, “You’re not normally here this time of night, Miss Danvers, good to see you.”

“You too, Rodger,” she says, returning the man’s smile, “have a good night.”

She walks past the man and heads to the elevator, dialing Lena’s digits into the electronic screen to reach the woman’s personal floor. She holds a breath as long as she can without wanting to burst and releases it, guilt eating away at her stomach. 

The elevator dings, the doors opening to reveal Lena’s giddy self with two glasses of wine in her hands. 

“Kara!” Lena squeals, “you have no idea how happy I am to see you tonight.” 

Kara laughs awkwardly, taking a glass from Lena’s hand, “Really? I’m glad you’re happy.”

Lena tsks her friend, grabbing her free hand and pulling her into a hug. The newfound hugs as greetings only started after the sleepover, which Kara never minded. This was just Lena’s way of easing herself into whatever was growing between them.

She tugs the woman to the couch, plopping the both of them on the cushions. 

“Supergirl should be here any minute, I never thought your schedules would ever match up,” she takes a sip of the wine, “you two are so hard to coordinate with.”

Kara drains the entire glass of wine, even though the alcohol doesn’t do anything it still acted as liquid courage. Lena’s eyes widen at the reaction and gapes at her. 

“Sorry, rough day,” Kara bluffs, setting the now empty glass on the coffee table in front of them, “how was your day?”

Lena follows Kara, placing her own glass next to the other, “Boring, the usual. I was thinking about making reservations for us three at the new Korean place on the other side of the city.”

Kara feigns interest, twisting at her fingers as Lena talks. She’s just so excited to have both of her friends in the same room at the same time. Why couldn’t she talk J’onn into pretending to be her again? Why was this so difficult?

Lena notices the distressed vibe and places a hand on the girl’s forearm, “Are you okay, Kara?”

Kara snaps out of herself, “I’m- yeah. I’m good.”

“You know you can tell me anything.”

Does she know and she’s been stringing Kara along for so long? She has to know, who just says that to someone?

“Actually, Lena,” she licks her lips, pulling her leg underneath her to get comfortable, “I do have to tell you something. Something that’s been bothering me for a while.”

The panic that flashes behind Lena’s eyes makes Kara’s heart drop. 

“What’s happening?” 

Kara covers Lena’s hand with her own, “It’s nothing about you, I swear. It’s me.”

Lena rolls her eyes, biting the corner of her bottom lip, “Do you know how many times I’ve heard that one? We’re not even dating yet and you’re breaking up with me.”

“No, Lena,” Kara says, “if we were dating, I’d never be breaking up with you like this, or ever break up with you. I’m wrapped around your pinky, come on.”

Kara’s jest makes the Luthor laugh, wiping away the tears that gathered in her eyes. She sniffles, placing her other hand on top of Kara’s and giving it a squeeze, telling her she can continue.

“I have to be honest, I haven’t been truthful with you.”

Lena refuses to panic anymore, sniffles again, and urges her friend to continue.

“Supergirl and I aren’t friends.”

The silence that surrounds the two is deafening. Lena’s paused stature, eyes boring into Kara’s, makes Kara want to run. 

Then, Lena laughs. A deep, belly laugh. She shoves Kara onto the couch as she continues to laugh. 

Kara’s back hits the cushion and she wants to audibly ask what the hell just happened.

“You didn’t need to lie about being friends with Supergirl,” Lena says, laughter finally dying down, “I already like you, you don’t need to show off.”

Kara sits up, “You don’t understand.”

“I understand perfectly,” Lena waves the girl off, “you got James to help you impress me, so you pretended to be Supergirl’s friend. She was even in on it. She’s so sweet, you know. Not as sweet as you, but still.”

As Lena calms herself from her laughing fit, Kara stands from the couch. “I’m going to show you something. I want you to watch don’t talk. Please just do this for me.”

Lena clears her throat, giving Kara her undivided attention as the girl reaches up to her tightly wound bun and tugs at it. She shakes the tresses out, steeling herself for whatever Lena’s reaction might be. Surprisingly, the woman’s just stood there, smirking. 

She hasn’t figured it out yet.

“Lena,” Kara grabs her glasses, “please don’t hate me.”

As she pulls her glasses off, Lena’s smirk dims. She unbuttons the first three buttons of the shirt she has on and pulls it open, revealing House El’s crest on her chest.

“Oh my god.”

Kara watches Lena’s emotions change rapidly on her face. First shock, then rejection, anger, sadness, and finally betrayal.

“It took you this long to tell me?”

Lena crosses her arms over her chest as Kara pieces her sentences together. The Luthor’s eyes are dark, unreadable. 

Crap.

“You held me when I felt like no one would be there for me,” Lena shouts, tears welling up in her eyes, some already spilling down her face, “you built me up, both as Supergirl and as Kara. You taught me to be strong, to stand on my own, to let people in. You did that!”

Kara clenches her jaw, choosing the option to stay silent.

“You-” her voice breaks, making Kara’s heart do the same, “you made me feel like you cared about me.”

“I have always cared about you. It’s just a big secret Lena, you have to understand,” Kara runs a hand through her hair, deciding to do some damage control, “everyone that knows was so careful around you because you’re a Luthor. I didn’t want to get in trouble with them.”

No, I do understand,” Lena chokes out a laugh, “you don’t trust me, I knew it. You’re just too nice and can’t tell me the truth.”

“That’s a damn lie,” Kara’s bites back, the rare curse from the girl’s lips silencing the Luthor, “Supergirl trusts you, and you know that. Why would Kara Zor-El not?”

“Maybe it’s because I only know Supergirl and Kara Danvers, not Kara Zor-El.”

Lena snatches her wine glass from the table and takes a mouthful, swallowing it bit by bit along with her conflicting emotions. Kara buttons her shirt back up and puts the glasses back on, desperate to regain some footing with the woman.

“So this is another costume?” Lena finally asks, wagging her finger up and down the girl’s body, “have you ever been yourself around me?”

“At first, no,” Kara admits, “but after a while, yes. You knew everything I knew, and you still do. When Alex brought Maggie over for the first time, you were there. You handled that like a champ.”

Lena leans back into the couch, eyes just glaring past the woman. She takes a deep breath, holds it for ten seconds, then exhales for fifteen. One of her many coping mechanisms that Kara learned from the beginning. She understands Lena’s point of view and doesn’t dismiss her feelings. If Kara were in her shoes, she’d be furious too. 

Neither speak for a while, Kara takes a seat on the ottoman across from Lena. She folds her hands and traces shapes into her skin with a finger. She gazes up from her distraction every now and then to see if Lena has figured out what to do. 

Lena clears her throat softly, losing the internal battle, “Did you ever like me as Supergirl?”

“I like you both as Supergirl and Kara.” 

The Luthor nods slowly, processing it all. 

“So the connection I had with Supergirl, it wasn’t-?” She can barely finish the sentence without choking up. 

Kara bends her torso over the table, extending her hand out to Lena. She hesitates before sitting forward and taking Kara’s hand in hers.

“It’s real,” Kara’s soft tone comforts Lena like her favourite blanket, “what you felt, what I felt, it’s all real.”

Lena squeezes Kara’s hand gently, feeling the need to assure the girl as she speaks. Kara yearns for the ability to see into Lena’s mind, figure out what she’s thinking. She stays silent, as that’s all she can do. 

“Truth be told, I was falling for both Supergirl and Kara, and I didn’t know who to choose,” Lena swallows the lump in her throat, “I thought Supergirl would catch me, but Kara would take care of me regardless.”

She wipes at her eyes, hoping to rid any tears that haven’t fallen. She looks at Kara and gives a watery smile. 

“I didn’t want to choose between you two, I cared too much.”

Kara finds herself using her sleeve to soak up her own tears, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No offense, but I’m not sure right now,” Lena pulls her hand back, “I have to think this all over. You lied to me, strung me along, and then didn’t trust me enough to tell the truth. I’m a little hurt right now.”

Kara nods solemnly, not giving Lena any doubt of her feelings right now. “I was here when you needed me in the beginning, and I’ll be here until the end. I hope you know that.” 

Lena doesn’t look at her, causing Kara to shatter inside. But she understands. Not even Cat Grant knew her secret before she left. It’s never easy living a triple life in some ways, especially when two of them are constantly around a person. 

It wasn’t like Kara wanted to hide it from her friend, she trusts Lena with her life and knew deep down the woman would respect the secret.  

“I think I should leave,” Kara announces, standing from her spot on the ottoman, “I’ll leave you to yourself, figure everything out. You know how to reach me if you need me.”

Lena’s eyes flick from her friend to the door and then back to the floor.

“It looks like Kara Danvers is capable of lying after all.”

She scoffs, never expecting this from her friends. Friend. They’re the same person. Christ.

Kara knows that wasn’t  _ her  _ Lena Luthor speaking there. That final dig, the twist of the knife. That wasn’t the Lena she’s found herself falling for. That was the defense mechanism coming into play. The thing Kara had been working with Lena on breaking. 

She shifts awkwardly in place before grabbing her bag and heading to the elevator doors. She hits the button and glances over her shoulder at the woman on the couch, still frozen in place. She sucks a breath through her teeth as the elevator doors pop open and she enters. Hitting the lobby button on the wall, she slips her phone from her pocket. She autopilots her way to Alex’s contact information and hits call. As the doors shut, closing off connection between the two, Kara’s walls crumble. 

The phone rings twice before the elder Danvers answers.

“Kara?” she asks, “is everything okay?”

Kara shakes her head, covering her mouth with her hand to stifle her sobs. The muffled answer was enough for Alex. 

“I’ll meet you at your place, then.”

Alex ends the call and Kara presses her back to the wall of the elevator, alone. 

The ride to the bottom of Lena’s floor was painful, but Kara kept it together. She walked through the lobby as if nothing were wrong, nodded at Rodger, and rounded the building. As she was clear from any wandering eyes, she took off into the sky. 

Everything blurred past her, but she didn’t care. Kara didn’t have the time or even the effort to appreciate the city at night, like she always did. She wanted to be home, to have some comfort. 

She lands on the fire escape and climbs through her window. She slams the bag across the room, accidentally obliterating her bedside table in the process, and falls face first into her bed. 

Alex unlocks her door minutes after she came in and shuffles toward the bedroom. Kara lifts her head, giving her sister a once over. She makes a face at Alex’s flannel pajama pants, but doesn’t make an actual joke about them.

“I rushed over, shut up,” Alex says, sitting next to her sister, “now what happened?”

Kara falls back into the bed, “I told Lena the truth.”

Alex leans in, unable to properly hear through the blankets, “you what?”

“I told Lena the truth,” Kara says, louder this time, “and I messed up. I knew I would have to tell her sooner or later, I can’t just be in a relationship with someone and mysteriously have a double life.”

Alex wraps her arms over her sister, laying her head on her back, “I know, kid. I know.”

“This sucks.”

Kara rolls over onto her back, wiping the stray tears from her face. Alex presses her lips together in an attempt to smile, not sure how to talk her sister through this situation.

“I really like her, Alex,” Kara sighs, looking up at her ceiling to stop herself from crying, “she’s so strong, and funny, and Rao is she smart. I don’t want this to ruin us.”

Alex folds her hand around Kara’s, holding it, “Give her time. If Maggie up and told me she’s some random superhero, I’d lose my shit too. Maybe I’d come around after some time, but it’s hard to tell.”

“Not helping.”

“I understand, but it’s the truth,” Alex responds, squeezing her sister’s hand lightly, “you just need to deal with your consequences. Lena might come around, but you just have to wait.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me:  
> writing tumblr: brittwritesshit.tumblr.com  
> main tumblr: queerahkiin.tumblr.com


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a week after the reveal~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've got one more coming, everyone! would've been with this but i decided to split it up so you'll all be left with the good stuff in the end.

She wishes she could take it all back. It’s been a week without a single word from Lena and she was getting worried. She couldn’t fly over and check on the woman, she knew her too well to notice any signs of her checking in. 

Alex stops over twice a day, once before work, once after she’s off, and makes sure her little sister is taking care of herself. She wants to crack jokes about how Kara has more gay panic than she ever did with Maggie. She wants to promise that it’ll all work out in the end. But she can’t. She knows Kara inside and out, she knows how hurt the girl is over all of this. Alex even finds herself feeling bad for Lena too, but she doesn’t tell Kara that.

Groaning, Kara holds her head in her hands at the kitchen table. She had pushed her breakfast away already after promising Alex she’d eat today. She just can’t get herself to do anything. 

“Come on, Kara,” she tells herself, dropping her hands from her face, “you have to get ready.”

She didn’t work the entire week. How could she when the Luthor woman was on her mind constantly? Lena sent out an email all over CatCo that she would not be accepting interviews for a long while, giving Snapper no reason to pursue the woman any further. Kara was stuck on mindless filler garbage for the magazine. 

The morning after she told Lena the truth, she could barely look at the pieces she did on her. How proud Lena was, flipping through the magazines with her face on the cover. Gushing about how Kara had painted her in such an amazing light, how the city would love her all because of Kara. The happy memories. It hurt. 

Picking up the spoon in her now extremely soggy cereal, she sighs. How long was this going to be? She pined over James, but that flittered out quickly. She had an extreme admiration for Cat and the head woman leaving definitely did a number on her, but nothing to this degree.

Kara ached. Every piece of Kara ached. She can vividly remember how the Luthor feels against her when they hug. She can hear Lena joke how comfortable her shoulder is when they’d cuddle and watch tv. She remembers the night she held Lena through a storm, helping her calm down. Learning all of her breathing techniques, figuring out when she’s stressed and how stressed she is according to her actions. 

And it hurt.

She hurt knowing Lena was hurt, too.

“Kara,” Alex scolds, setting her keys down on the counter as she enters the apartment, “I told you to eat.”

Kara lifts her bowl and spoon up to show her sister, grimacing, “I tried.”

“Self hatred and anxiety aren’t breakfast, stop beating yourself up,” Alex says, pouring Kara a new bowl of cereal and bringing the container of milk with her, “I’m not heading in until this bowl is empty. Hank will understand.”

She places the bowl in front of Kara, “Besides, the city needs Supergirl.”

“Don’t do that, I already feel bad enough.”

Kara takes a spoonful of the colourful loops, forcing herself to open her mouth and accept the food. Chewing and swallowing, she glares at Alex who only gives a toothy “I-told-you-so” smile in response.

As the food hits her stomach, she realises just how hungry she is and for once she practically inhales her meal. 

Laughing, Alex pats Kara on the shoulder as she girl sets the bowl down from drinking the last drop of milk, “That’s my girl, now what’s the schedule for today?”

“Two hour thought shower at nine until eleven, wallowing in my pity from noon until probably two. Some blanket burrito-ing at night. That’s about it.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, the elder Danvers sighs at her sister. “That’s not your real schedule, Kar.”

“It has been for a week, I’m not going to work,” Kara stands from the table, bringing both of the bowls to the sink, “I have no drive to do anything. Besides, Lena’s face is plastered all over the building.”

“I’ll call Winn and have him clean the place up a bit,” Alex offers, “you can’t keep this up, Cat isn’t there for you to suck up to. Snapper is kind of a dick and you know how he’ll be.”

Kara waves her sister off, “You can remove her face but you can’t remove her essence.”

Squinting, Alex bites her tongue trying not to laugh. 

Kara hears the failed attempt and turns her head over her shoulder, “I know that was too much, but it’s how I feel.”

“You are actually a teenager going through a breakup.”

Just as Alex felt like she wasn’t walking on eggshells anymore, Kara slams one of the bowls in the sink, obliterating it completely. 

“We weren’t even dating,” she says through clenched jaw, “we weren’t- we weren’t-”

She grips the counter top, her knuckles turning white as she starts to sob. 

“Damn it,” Alex curses under her breath, rushing up from the table to Kara’s side and wrapping her in a hug, “I’m sorry, Kara.”

Kara hides her face in Alex’s shirt, openly bawling into her sister’s chest. Alex rubs circles into the girl’s back as she cries, hoping it’ll help her calm down. She heard her little sister cry far too much lately and she felt lost not being able to do anything to make her feel better. She was her protector, regardless if she isn’t a human. She’s the big sister, the one who takes care of everything. 

Taking long, shallow breaths in an attempt to relax, Kara pulls away from Alex. 

“You need to go to work,” she sniffles, wiping at her nose, “I’ll be here, anyway. You go on with your day.”

Alex frowns, work was the last thing on her mind right now. 

“Alex,” Kara whines, “I don’t need someone else feeling bad and messing themselves up over me.”

“You’re my sister, I’m allowed to worry over you.”

Taking the sleeve of her sweater and drying her eyes, Kara finds herself laughing for what seemed like eternity.

“Worrying too much makes you go grey, Alex.”

Unable to process the joke for a moment after hearing her sister cry her eyes out for the millionth time this week, Alex goes to respond but stops. As the joke registers, she laughs as well. Kara cracks the smallest smile, happy she could make someone feel good if only for a moment. 

“I think I’d look good grey,” Alex responds, overzealously flipping her short hair, “Maggie might like it, too. Silver fox thing going on.”

Kara’s face screws up in faux disgust, “I think that’s only a thing for men.”

“You and your Kryptonian gender roles,” Alex waves at her sister, “it’s 2017, women can be anything, can’t they?”

Rolling her eyes, she pushes her sister away from her. “Okay, now leave. Get on with your day, stop babysitting me.”

“You call me if you need anything,” Alex dictates, pointing a finger at Kara as she grabs her keys and opens the door, “I’ll be back later.”

Alex leaves, blowing a kiss at Kara as she shuts the door behind her, leaving the girl alone yet again. 

The brief happiness she felt definitely brightened her mood for the day. Kara showered, actually showered and not the two hour mess of her sitting on the floor as the hot water pelted her. She brushed her hair, brushed her teeth, even got fully dressed. She took the decimated nightstand she accidentally smashed nights prior down to the dumpster.

Thankfully that killed a bit of time for the day, leaving her still with a positive attitude. Not enough to really leave her apartment building, but enough to feel like she did something productive with herself today.

She stuffs her hands in her pockets, opting to climb the stairs up to her apartment instead of taking the elevator like usual. There’s a bit of bounce to her step, almost as if she were feeling completely like herself. She unlocks her door, securing it behind her as she looks around her space. 

Having tidied up a bit, she grins. It’s like a normal person who definitely didn’t just possibly mess up the only chance with her potential soulmate lives here. 

Cringing at herself for the last thought, she shakes it off and grabs a granola bar from her pantry. She nibbles at her snack, thumbing through her mail from the entire week and bobs her head along to a tune in her head. 

She snaps up, nearly dropping her bar as her superhearing picks up on something. She filters out everything else as it grows stronger. 

_ Inhale... _

_..One.. _

_..Two.. _

_..Three.. _

_ Exhale... _

_..One.. _

_..Two.. _

_..Three.. _

Kara jumps to the door, not needing her xray vision to peer through the wood as she rips the door open.

“Lena,” the woman looks like she hadn’t been taking care of herself at all, dark bags under her eyes, her hair in a loose ponytail, standing in an oversized hoodie and jeans. “Hi.”

Lena surges forward, not saying anything, and winds her arms around Kara as she presses their lips together. 

Being spurred on by instinct, Kara backs up into the apartment, pulling Lena inside and pushes the woman against the door, never once breaking the kiss. 

It’s soft and passionate, just as they both thought their first kiss would be. Kara thought it would be after their first date as she walks Lena home, only to stop under a streetlight and to be overwhelmed by Lena’s beauty. Lena thought it would be on her couch, both of them sleepy as they binged Game of Thrones for the third time. An affirmation that she wanted  _ this _ , that she wanted Kara. 

Kara smiles, feeling Lena’s lips part and happily sigh at the feeling of what she’s desired to do for so long. She pulls away, caressing Kara’s jaw as she looks over the girl.

“I’m sorry,” they both say, blushing and nodding for each other to start. 

Kara clears her throat, mind hazy from the kiss, “I’m sorry about everything. I should have told you before everything started.”

“Kara, I should be the one sorry,” Lena’s voice raspy from misuse, “I couldn’t see past my own insecurities and recognise what you needed to do. I understand why you would be so hesitant and I’m sorry for my actions.”

Lena locks her fingers behind Kara’s head, resting her forehead against the girl’s as they stand together. 

“It’s been a shit week,” Lena admits, “this was the first time I even left my building.”

Kara chuckles, “I haven’t even left mine, just cleaned up a bit today.”

“You look so put together, though. You’re putting me to shame.”

Lifting her head, Kara gives Lena a glance over and nods to herself. “Still beautiful.”

Lena shoves Kara playfully, grinning from ear to ear. Kara’s heart flutters, seeing one of her favourite things in the entire universe as she presses a kiss to the woman’s cheek. 

“I need to shower and clean myself up,” Lena says, letting her hands drop from Kara’s body, “also I have a bag outside the door that I just now remembered.”

She pushes herself off the door, opening it and snagging the small bag from beside the door itself, and pulling it through. 

“Came prepared?” Kara teases, watching as Lena locks the door, “how did you know I’d let you in?”

Lena shrugs, “I honestly didn’t. I knew Supergirl- you. I knew you would hear me anyway, so you’d either open the door or pretend you weren’t in.”

“I didn’t imagine you coming over,” Kara says, wringing her hands, “I wanted to check in on you. It was killing me inside to know you were upset. I’ve seen you when you’re left to your own devices, Lena.”

Lena reaches for Kara’s hand, entwining their fingers together, “I was a wreck, truth be told. But that’s behind us now. I’m here with you, and that’s all that matters.”

Kara smiles, squeezing Lena’s hand in her own. 

“Also side note,” Lena says, “I don’t know if they provide anything but I like the glasses on you. Gives you this innocent, nerdy look.”

Lena lets go of Kara’s hand, hoisting her bag over her shoulder as she runs away, laughing. Kara chases after her until Lena yips and slams the bathroom door in Kara’s face.

“Lena,” Kara whines, “not cool.”

She turns the shower on, still laughing as she undresses from her lazy clothes, “I told you I have to shower.”

Pouting, Kara sits on her bed to wait for Lena to hurry up.

Lena, on the other hand, wasn’t planning on hurrying. She waited for this. Built herself up, broke herself down multiple times, and figured out what would be any scenario possible about this day. 

She has Kara, something she never felt possible. She has Kara and Supergirl wrapped in one package. As the spray of the water hits her body, she smirks at herself. She doesn’t dare speak out loud, remembering the superhearing individual the room over. She just hums, amused that she didn’t have to choose between the two when it came down to it. 

She takes her time, lathering the soap across her body. She inhales the scent, Kara’s signature scent, as it spreads over her. She scrubs her insecurities away, washing them down the drain. She feels free. She feels clean. 

Everything Kara had told her over the last several months, she’s always carried it and held it to heart. The everyday to “just be Lena” and that Super- Kara was proud of her helped more than Lena could ever say. Kara didn’t fix her, necessarily. She was the guiding hand, teaching her self love and appreciation little by little. The last week alone made her realise just how much the Kryptonian had impacted her life. 

She smiles to herself, rubbing her arms clean of the soap as she thinks of Kara. How important she is, her friend and now possibly her lover. She stands under the water for a moment, making sure she washed away every bubble from her body. As she turns the shower off, she hears Kara’s very loud groan.

“Finally,” she calls out, “you were taking forever.”

Lena laughs as she hops out and wraps a towel around her body and starts rummaging through the bag. She pulls her red blouse out, along with a clean pair of jeans to replace the ones she’s worn for several days now. 

Approaching the fogged mirror, the swipes it with part of her towel to look at herself. Despite the evident lack of sleep, she looks happy. 

She dances as she shimmies clean underwear on over damp legs, the fabric sticking and getting stuck as she pulls them up. Unwrapping her towel, she blots the water off before tugging her jeans on. Grabbing her black bra from the bag as well, she hooks it on and throws her shirt on over top. 

She snags the spare toothbrush Kara reluctantly didn’t throw away as she cleaned today and quickly brushes her teeth. 

Rinsing and spitting, she plops her toothbrush back in the holder and tucks her dirty clothes in the bag. She opens the bathroom door and shoves her bag into the bedroom, Kara jolting up from the bed. 

She feels butterflies in her stomach, seeing Kara in front of her. She thinks of the storm and how she hadn’t felt safe like that ever in her life. Her heart beats faster as she approaches her. In a split second, she lifts herself onto the bed, straddling Kara. 

“Lena?” Kara asks, eyes wide, “what are you doing?”

As her pride swells and the adrenaline of her sudden reaction rushes through her veins, she gives her usual smirk. 

“Something I’ve waited too long to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me:  
> writing tumblr: brittwritesshit.tumblr.com  
> main tumblr: queerahkiin.tumblr.com


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's finally heeeereeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to just take a moment and thank you all for following this little story. my take on what could be, what should be lbr, what i see in Lena and Kara. thank you for all your lovely messages throughout and thank you for giving me the inspiration to carry this through. i've never done a multichapter fic, i struggle with piecing everything together lmao so this really makes me feel good. 
> 
> you're all wonderful and i love you all. 
> 
> now, here's the 4.1k fluffy smut i promised as my final note for TTLO.

She can’t think straight. All she can focus on is the brilliant, gorgeous, strong in more ways than one woman straddling her. She can’t even begin to process everything that happened today so far. 

She has to be asleep. 

This is a dream, right?

Lena squeezes her thighs around Kara, sinking closer to her in her lap. Her hair tossed to the side, arms draped around Kara’s shoulders. 

Rao, she’s is a sight.

Kara grabs Lena’s hips with both of her hands, lifting her gaze up her body until their eyes connect.

“Are you sure?”

Lena chuckles, leaning in, “I’ve never been more sure of something in my entire life.”

She ghosts her lips together, Kara desperate to take them against her own and chases her. Lena chuckles, allowing Kara the smallest connection to sate her during the teasing.

Kara, completely enraptured by the woman on top of her, pulls her closer. She grips at her hip bones as she shifts up and captures Lena’s lips fully. Lena opens her mouth, allowing Kara access as she slips her tongue past Lena’s teeth.

Lena rocks into Kara, catching the girl off guard. Kara tightens her grasp, swinging her in a swift motion as she lays the Luthor on her back. Lena breaks the kiss, gasping at the strength and speed it took to have her on the bed. Kara takes her advantage, planting kisses across Lena’s cheek.

“I never thought you would do that,” Lena’s hands roam about Kara’s back, holding the girl in place as she kisses a line down to Lena’s jawline, “I’ve gotta say, it’s definitely a turn on.”

Kara gives a throaty chuckle, “Noted.”

Lena’s lip quivers as Kara reaches her pulse point. She continues her journey down, making sure every inch is loved adequately enough before moving on. Lena’s eyes flutter shut, tangling her fingers in Kara’s hair while she pulls at the top button of her work shirt. 

“You know, when I first saw you in this shirt, all I could think of was how easy it’d be to pop every button off.”

Lena whimpers, tightening her hold on Kara’s scalp. Kara chuckles, pressing a kiss in the now vulnerable flesh of Lena’s collarbone.

She pulls the second button slowly, sliding her fingers underneath the shirt to explore previously hidden territory. Lena is so soft, so pure. Kara stops herself from going further, suddenly nervous that she isn't good enough to partake in such a treasure.

Knowing the signs all too well, Lena drops her hold in Kara’s hair and cups her face. She gently pulls Kara’s head up, making the girl look her in the eyes.

“You are the best thing to ever touch me, Kara,” Lena whispers, “do not feel unworthy. If anyone should, it would be me.”

Raw emotion swells in Kara’s chest, opening her mouth to spew countless words of adoration for Lena, but she’s silenced with a gentle kiss. 

Lena pulls away, a loving smile replacing where Kara’s lips just were. “You make me feel worthy. You are the only person that makes me feel accepted and loved.”

With the encouragement, Kara continues her journey down Lena’s body. 

She pulls the shirt off of Lena’s body, taking in the black lace bra underneath. Her breath catches at the being in front of her. She had imagined this for so long. Every single aspect of this night she had playing over and over in her head since the very beginning. None of it ever prepared her for the real thing. The sheer perfection of Lena Luthor, in all of her pale beauty, with such a simplistic yet tasteful black bra that made her skin seem to glow in contrast. 

Lena presses a kiss to the arm beside her head, regaining Kara’s attention. “As much as I’d love for you to stare at me like I belong in an art gallery, I’d appreciate you continuing.”

Kara wants to apologise for being caught up in the moment, but Lena adds a second kiss to the spot on her arm and a small smile. 

She moves, hovering above Lena’s torso as her hands slowly creep up her ribcage and over her breasts. The fullness of them in her hands, the fabric, the experience. It’s all overwhelming. She feels lightheaded that she is, in fact, feeling Lena up for the first time. She squeezes them gently, then delicately pulls the top of the right cup down to expose her nipple. The deliciously pink nub is hard, Kara wastes no time as her mouth latches onto it and sucks it between her teeth. 

Lena jolts, fisting her hair as Kara tugs her nipple. Her hips buck against Kara’s, a muffled moan sounding from behind her bitten bottom lip. 

Kara looks up, her and Lena’s eyes connecting as she swipes the nipple with her tongue. Lena’s jaw drops, allowing the sounds to float out.

“Kara,” she groans out, “more.”

Her voice is hypnotising. The pitch, how low she can hit and strike directly at Kara’s core. The rhythmic swing, how a two syllable word such as her name can sound like a prayer. How she begs, such need embedded into each cry. It all drives Kara absolutely insane. She never thought she could be addicted to a sound until she heard Lena speak for the first time. Rao save her soul for how smitten she was. 

Lena arches her back, pushing her chest into Kara’s face as she whines for more contact. 

“Easy,” Kara coos, “let me savour this.”

She pulls the left cup of Lena’s bra down, tracing the woman’s ribcage with her tongue as she crosses to the other nipple. She’s gentle, too gentle for Lena’s liking. She kisses the flesh, her lips just barely brushing against the sensitive nub as she pays attention to not fully touching it just yet.

Not long before Lena groans at Kara’s glacial pace, she takes the nipple into her mouth while ghosting her thumb over the other. The dual stimuli makes Lena’s pupils dilate, grabbing a fistful of the sheets and groaning. 

Lifting from Lena’s chest, Kara gives a breathy laugh. The warmth from it cascades across Lena’s torso and she feels she’s about to burst. All from this. Being touched by Kara. Being  _ loved  _ by Kara. 

That’s what this was, right?

This was what it felt like to be loved.

Noticing the somewhat vacant stare, Kara slips her thigh between Lena’s and eases her knee gently against her jean clad center.

“Shit,” Lena hisses, being snapped back to reality. She drops herself back on the bed and jerks her hips against Kara’s leg.

Kara grins wickedly, something Lena had never seen before from the girl, her hands flying to the button of Lena’s jeans in an instant. She pops the bottoms open, pulling the zipper down as well as she slides her hands between the jeans and her underwear. 

Her fingers glide to soaked fabric, gasping at the contact. Lena nods, answering the wordless question of if this was how Kara made her feel. 

Pulse pounding in her ears, she presses into Lena’s underwear, letting the woman’s wetness cover her fingers as she searches for her clit. 

Lena’s gasp as Kara applies pressure to the bundle of nerves is music to her ears. She pulls her ring finger, thumb, and pinky to her palm as she massages small circles with her pointer and middle into Lena’s clit.

The small, pinpointed circles nearly launch Lena over the edge instantly through all the build up. The emotional rollercoaster from the last 168 hours, the adrenaline flowing through both of their veins, and finally having Kara right where she wants her throttle her senses. She feels so dangerously good. 

“God yes,” Lena’s body stiffens as Kara keeps her maneuvers consistent, “don’t stop. Please Kara.”

Determination alone wouldn’t allow Kara to stop if she wanted to. She wanted this. She wanted to make Lena come undone. She needed it. She craved it. 

She goes faster, guiding Lena closer toward the edge. Her knuckles start to sting, continuous motions against denim giving her a bit of a burn, but she doesn’t stop. 

Lena’s hands drop from Kara’s hair and grip onto her own hipbones, controlling herself and making sure she doesn’t move away from Kara accidentally.

Her mouth falls open, eyes squeezing shut as her orgasm shutters through her body. She digs her nails into her skin, holding herself in place as she further ruins her underwear.

As the waves die down, she wraps her fingers around Kara’s wrist. She guides the girl’s hand out of her pants, pulling them to her mouth and kisses each of her fingertips. 

“You are so absolutely and breathtakingly beautiful,” Kara whispers, “I can’t comprehend how perfect you are.”

She lays down next to Lena, propping her head up with a hand as she looks over the recovering woman. Lena gives a lazy smile, unable to muster up more at the moment. 

Kara fist pumps into the air suddenly, unable to contain her happiness. Lena looks over to her cautiously, wondering why the sudden movement. Seeing the bouncing and beaming girl next to her, she laughs.

“I can’t believe we did that,” Kara gushes, “I never thought it would happen, I just thought it was something that would forever live in my head and never become reality. It’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

Clearing her throat and rallying any energy within, Lena rolls onto her side. “You thought about this?”

Kara crinkles her nose at being caught, of course she’d excitedly ramble about this. Dang it.

“Uh,” she mumbles, “well, yeah. Remember the shirt thing from earlier?”

Arching her eyebrow in the only way Lena Luthor could, she gives Kara a smirk. “What else did you think about?”

She lifts up a hand, pushing Kara’s shoulder down until she’s flat on her back. Kara grows red as Lena holds herself against the girl, stammering to try and answer her.

“I, uh,” Lena slides her hand up Kara’s shirt, her abdominal muscles flexing at the touch, “well, this.”

Lena moves to rest her chin on Kara’s shoulder, the blonde starting to giggle awkwardly as Lena gently presses a kiss to the side of her neck. Reflexively, she flinches, attempting to break the contact and hide the sensitive part of her skin from Lena by blocking it with her shoulder. 

“What else?”

Lena pushes up the shirt as her hand slides further up. She nudges Kara’s shoulder back down, dragging her bottom lip across the fabric until it reaches her throat.

“You taking my shirt off,” Kara stammers. As she says it, Lena’s hand pulls back from her shirt and grabs the bottom hem. She bundles it up in her grasp, collecting it all in her fist as she works the fabric up Kara’s body.

As she tugs Kara’s top off slowly, her eyes never leave the exposed skin, making sure every millisecond is burnt into her memory forever. It's almost reverential, like she's ready to worship at an altar for a god with how delicate she is. As Kara sits up slightly to allow Lena to move the garment off, her eyes drink in the sight before her. A shirtless and wanting Kara Zor-El. Ready for her taking. 

She felt the pure lust pulse from her core and radiates to the soles of her feet. She is positively aching for this girl.

If how she felt for Kara was anything like religion, she would be more than happy to get on her knees and pray. 

Everything about her makes Lena weak. The dip of her collarbones. The swell of her breasts. Her fucking abs. Sweet lord, Lena feels like she's died and went to the best version of heaven no one ever told her about. She wants to put her mouth everywhere on Kara. She wants to experience everything the Kryptonian would allow her. 

Grinning, Kara taps Lena’s shoulder to regain her attention. “You look like a kid in a candy store with a crisp twenty in hand.”

“Can you blame me?” Lena asks, running her hands over Kara’s torso, “you are perfection incarnate.”

Blushing furiously, Kara swats at Lena. She's never felt like this before and she loves it. So unabashedly gleeful in this very moment. 

Lena crawls her way down Kara’s body, her from her thoughts as she kisses down her neck, between her breasts, and toward her stomach. 

She keeps her eyes up, looking at Kara as she continues. As she nears one of Kara’s hipbones, she gently scrapes her teeth against the rise of skin. She dips lower, opening Kara’s legs as she positions herself between them.

She rakes her fingernails down the inside of Kara’s thighs, inching ever closer to the girl’s slick center. 

Before she even tries to take Kara as she’s wanted to for so long, her hands still, holding in place on her legs.

“You never told me what else you thought.”

Every possible curse word she knows, in English and Kryptonian spew through her mind. She was so close to getting Lena  _ inside _ of her, now she has to play along.

“I thought about your mouth doing unholy things to me,” Kara pants, “I thought about you having me. All of me.”

Lena’s hand slithers carefully up, her digits inching closer and closer toward Kara. Just looking at her, Lena can tell how bad she needs her. 

“I thought about how it would feel when you first sink into me.”

Kara reaches down, guiding Lena’s hand. Her breath catches, never thinking Kara could talk like this. She gives her an assuring smile as Lena hesitates. 

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lena allows her fingers to just dance across Kara’s inner thighs. She grazes against her wetness, confirmation that she was doing it all right. Regardless of how many times she’d done this before with other girls, something about Kara made her so nervous. 

She takes a slow breath in as she moves her fingers against Kara’s core. She gasps, finally being touched. Moving her hand back, she gives Lena a nod to continue, without her guide.

She presses her fingertips into Kara’s clit, gently at first until she starts making circles. Mouth falling agape, she lifts her hips into the air. Lena continues her motions even though Kara was completely drenched, making sure she took her time to make the hero feel good. 

Kara whimpers, feeling herself already close after the pent up frustration from everything she did to Lena earlier on.

“Lena,” Kara moans, “I really appreciate all of this. But you need to hurry up or I’ll lose it.”

Lena picks her head up, looking at the desperate girl in front of her. She gives a sheepish grin and mumbles an apology, moving her fingers from her clit and just outside her opening. Kara’s hand flashes onto her’s, forcing her to enter her, not playing around anymore. 

She lets it happen, her finger just entering to her second knuckle. Just as she moves to go deeper into the girl, she stops. 

Lena Luthor has taken Supergirl and Kara Danvers in a way she’s only dreamt of. 

She grins, remembering the girl is at her mercy. She would love to sit between her legs, spell out the alphabet several times over against the girl’s sensitive nub until her legs become jelly. Or until Kara accidentally crushes Lena via her legs. Either way, she would take her in every single way possible. 

But she doesn’t. 

Her heart aches, thinking of only wanting to fill Kara with every ounce of adoration and passion she has in her body. Everything she feels for Kara, she wants to show her. 

Lena pushes further inside Kara, pulling back out before sinking two fingers inside. She finds her rhythm easily, gentle but deep strokes. 

“Rao,” Kara calls out, matching each thrust with her hips. “I’m- I’m close.”

Lena’s heart pounds in her chest as she surges up, taking Kara’s lips against hers as she drives into her faster. She presses her fingers up, making sure she hits the sweet spot inside as she continues on. 

Kara’s back arches, everything building up from Lena straddling her to start the whole thing finally spills over. She loses herself, loses control over everything as she orgasms. She groans into Lena’s mouth, sloppily kissing her between the spasms her body goes through. 

Finally, she slumps down, falling into the sheets with her eyes closed. Lena removes herself from Kara, kissing her now closed lips, and sits back to let the girl recover.

As she watches Kara come back to reality, she admires the hold she had over the superhero. She sits back on the bed, back against the headboard, smug as can be. 

Kara sits up, blinking heavily at Lena. 

“You nearly crushed my fingers and you’re awake that fast?”

The joke doesn’t register and Lena feels she did something wrong at the lack of reaction. 

In a flash, she’s on her back with Kara’s head between her legs.

She gasps, grabbing Kara’s hair and pulling it back as she attacks her. Her tongue, her teeth, how she chuckles against her. It all feels too good to be real.

As Lena adjusts to the surprise of the girl’s actions, Kara stops. Lena’s eyes open, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe she imagined this all and she’s awake now?

“Crap,” Kara yelps, launching from a severely naked and wanting Lena, “Alex is going to be here soon. I don’t need to scar her after everything else that happened this week.”

Nope, it’s all real.

Sincerely thinking of just jumping out of the window, Lena lets out an exasperated sigh, flopping her arms in the air and letting them drop dramatically beside her. Kara rockets herself from the bed, using her superspeed to hurry to the door, lock it with the chain lock, and then over to the sound system along the living room wall. 

Overhearing several hurried words of, “Come on, come on!” and “Faster, Kara, come on,”, the low tune of music swirls through the apartment. Lena sits up in the bed, trying to look around the corner of the bedroom doorframe to see just what the Kryptonian was doing. 

“What makes you think she’ll just leave if she overhears music?”

Kara shrugs to herself, still in the other room as she attempts to find a song that wouldn’t ruin the moment. Settling on Beyoncé, Kara rushes back to the room.

In a blink, Kara’s back between Lena’s legs, tongue firmly against her clit.

“Jesus chri-,” Lena can barely make out, impulsively fisting the covers at the contact, “warn a girl, would you?”

Kara pulls away from Lena’s core, “Would you rather I say or do?”

“Do!” Lena shouts, definitely not wanting to continue a cohesive conversation right now, “do do do do.”

She knots her fingers in Kara’s hair instead of the sheets, pushing the girl back down between her legs. Kara allows herself to be pushed, smirking before taking Lena back into her mouth.

She flattens her tongue against Lena, making sure every part of her is covered by the muscle. As the tip of her tongue passes Lena’s opening, she feels her clench desperately at it. If she had enough focus she would demand the girl finally take her before she explodes without the penetration she ached for.

Kara pulls a hand from Lena’s hipbone, around her thigh, and rests it on her pubic bone. With her thumb and forefinger, she spreads Lena’s folds, enjoying just how pink and swollen she was from her mouth alone. 

“Please,” Lena whispers, “please, inside. please.”

Kara follows the demand swiftly, dipping a finger to her second knuckle inside of Lena. The woman howls, finally getting what she’s been craving. She grinds into Kara’s hand, yearning to take the entire finger.

Without warning, Kara adds a second finger as Lena hisses in response. She grasps Kara by her wrist, forcing her to fill her as much as she possibly could. 

“Patience.”

Not a demand but a request. 

Lena lets her grip fall from Kara, allowing her to continue without further interference. She wants Kara to ravish her. She wants to be fucked unconscious, to be at the mercy of the alien. She wants to ache for days after. 

Kara, on the other hand, wants nothing but to cherish the woman. She wants to make love to her, as sickly sweet as it sounds. 

Lena catches the caring gaze Kara has for her, looking over her body as she pulls out ever so slightly.

“You are amazing,” Kara says, pushing back into Lena, “you are better than anything or anyone I could ever imagine.”

Mewling at the thrust, Lena can’t help but smile. The girl was such a romantic and it made Lena melt in more ways than one.

With a bit more force this time, Kara sets a pace. She pumps her two fingers at a rhythm slow enough for Lena to match with ease. 

It’s like a dance, Kara thinks. A dance she could do forever. Lena’s hips meet her hand in perfect synchronization. Still between Lena’s legs, she leans forward to press a kiss just above her clit as she continues her thrusts. Lena reaches down, tucking Kara’s hair behind her ear, caressing her face as well. 

Kara can only smile as she fills Lena with adoration, giving the woman everything she possibly can. 

Lena’s hips grind hard, begging Kara to pick up her motions. She obliges, feeling Lena clench as she pushes as deep as she can into her. 

“Kara,” she turns the girl’s name into the most amazing sound, “keep going.”

Her fingers tangle in hair in an attempt to keep it out of Kara’s face. In appreciation of the help, she opens her mouth and takes Lena’s clit between her teeth. The gentle, constant pressure against the button with the consistent in and out of her fingers, Lena isn’t sure if she can keep it up.

She tightens around Kara’s fingers, groaning through her teeth, feeling the beginning of her second orgasm of the night. 

“There’s a buffer, babe,” the petname slips easily, neither of them blink at it, “I want to hear you.”

Kara flicks Lena’s clit with the tip of her tongue, eliciting a loud moan. 

Oh Rao could get used to this.

She flexes her fingers up, coaxing Lena to the cliff’s edge. She tightens around Kara as much as she can, the girl hitting every single right spot possible all while still attacking her with her tongue. 

How was she this good?

In a mere moment, Lena free falls and crashes against the waves of pleasure. Her hips jerk into the air, rapidly still meeting Kara’s pace as she rides her hand through completion. 

Kara lifts her head from between Lena’s legs, finally detaching herself from the woman completely. She lets one finger slide out from within her at a time, fully staring at just what she had done to Lena. 

She gives a lopsided smile at her, noticing her head cocked to the side and mouth wide open. Feeling eyes on her, Lena shifts and wipes the drool just barely starting to fall pass her bottom lip. 

“You wrecked me,” the rasp of her voice makes Kara want to go again, but the Kryptonian reminds herself of human stamina and slides up Lena’s body instead. “You are definitely otherworldly because that was unbelievable.”

Kara’s smile evolves into a full grin at the praise, “Please, please, do continue.”

Lena clicks her tongue, turning onto her side to face Kara. She fights to open her eyes, only managing to muster enough to crack them open. 

She reaches to swipe Kara’s cheekbone with her thumb, blinking slowly but still hoping to keep herself awake.

“I love you, Kara Zor-El.”

She doesn't falter, not being caught off guard like usual. She kisses the tip of Lena’s nose gently, “I love you too, Lena Luthor.”

The words felt so familiar, her heart saying them long before her mouth ever could.

She lays down on her back, allowing Lena to place her head on her chest like she did during that storm. The two snuggle against each other, Lena lazily pressing a kiss to Kara’s ribcage as Kara runs her fingertips up and down Lena’s arm. 

This is what true happiness feels like. 

Lena can barely hide her giddiness despite being practically asleep. She grins against Kara’s skin, ecstatic to come to a full understanding of the feeling.

The music changes, the combined violins and humming of the song floats about the room. Kara picks up the tune, adding her own humming along, holding Lena closer as the lyrics begin to fill the comfortable silence. 

_ “I was here _

_ when the first morning dawned upon you _

_ I’ll be there _

_ I was here _

_ When you first ever drew a breath _

_ I’ll be there _

_ For the last living thing. _

 

_ And I will turn the lights out.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics are from Turn The Lights Out by Delain

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me:  
> twitter: @brittahkiin  
> writing tumblr: brittwritesshit.tumblr.com  
> main tumblr: brittahkiin.tumblr.com
> 
> like what you read? help me by supplying me with caffeine! ko-fi.com/brittahkiin
> 
> comment your emotions here so i can also cry with you because supercorp


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